“……I’ve told you
guys hundred times to find the clue in the PASSAGE!”
I was sitting in a classroom of a private
SAT academy of Gangnam city. Yes, I am the evil of the society, a participant
of the burning competition of private education. I am criticized by all kinds
of news media for spending enormous amount of money to get into a good college.
I am the subject of an EBS documentary about the lack of happiness in this
society.
I looked out the open window. Across
the street illuminated a cosmetic surgery signboard that caught my sight. The
cosmetic surgery would turn a customer into one of those people on the street,
running fast on high-heels and answering on the phone. I realized that cosmetic
surgery and private academy have something in common. They both help people
survive in this city, which requires excellence in standards of beauty and academic
skills that are equivalent to everybody. The survivors have same facial
expressions and same behavior patterns.
I averted my eyes. Everywhere was vaguely gray. The 8-line road
was gray. The luxury-brand cars were gray. The pedestrians’ suits were gray. The
buildings were gray. Even the clouds were gray. I wiped my glasses with my
clothes, which made them even blurrier. I put on the glasses and realized that
the clouds were lowered, or thickened. The bottom of the dark cloud seemed to
approach me. After I wiped the glasses once again, I found myself captured inside
the gray, humid air, which hindered my breath. I choked, feeling the urge to get
out of this cloud. I had to escape. But where could I? The buildings were gray.
The pedestrians’ suits were gray. The luxury-brand cars were gray. The 8-line
road was gray. Everything below the cloud was gray.
So I went up. I stretched my wings and elevated
vertically, past the window, past the skyscraper buildings, and past the thick
cloud. As I went higher, the sticky air became fresh. The air was separating at
the tip of my beak. I felt the cold flow of air riding on my skin. I listened
to the cheerful sounds of my fluttering feathers. Now everywhere was sparklingly
blue. I was feeling so free.
Perhaps a few minutes later,
suddenly I thought, ‘isn’t it too fast?’ Yes, it was. Whirls of winds were
fiercely forming around my presence. I closed my eyes because the wind hitting
my face was so powerful. My toes were quivering in frustration. The air riding
on my skin was now sucking me up. My feathers were fluttering so wildly that
they made thunderous sounds. However I could not unfold my wings. Rather, my
wings were becoming sharper and sharper, stiffened at their positions. I was
flying faster and faster. Wait, was I actually flying? No. I was falling. The
gravity was making me fall faster and
faster. Now I could see the gray city. Past the thick cloud, past the
skyscraper buildings, and past the window……
BANG! I crashed, right on the chair
where I was sitting, as my deskmate slapped me on the back, waking me up.
“Mingyu, how
dare you doze in the classroom? Don’t you want to get a good score?”
“……Sorry, I’m so
sorry, Ms. Kim.”
“Please pay
attention. Everybody turn to page 174.”
And I started dozing
again.
This is another good bit of writing, similar to your post modern piece. And I do see pieces of Violets story as well, which you've done a great job of adapting and fitting in. But, is it metafiction? Not really. But it definitely is a cinematic image, and the writing tone is very effective. I like the repetition of "the gray" etc., and even the satirical tone of the opening paragraph where you say "I'm the subject of a EBS documentary."
답글삭제Anyways, while it is good and fun to read, and it does improve Violet's ideas while blending them perfectly into your own, it is not the assignment I explained, and you aren't to "blend" so much as "frame."
Anyways, you get the bonus point, and your writing has impressed me lately.